Stuff I've traded for a kilo of bacon


A BlenheimFest Ticket – The BlenheimFest Crew

A Pair of Marcs Sunnies – Innovative Eye Care

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Innovative Eye Care are an optometry practice with two locations across Adelaide. Among other things, they specialise in Orthokeratology, which involves rigid contact lenses that correct your vision by reshaping your eye while you sleep……crazy shit that’s way beyond the comprehension of most people. Check out their website.

Late last year they opened a new practice on Hutt Street, and threw a grand opening party to celebrate. I’ve been mates with their director, Lachy, for ages so I went along to check things out. As seems to be the case with most of my conversations over the past year, soon enough we ended up talking about bacon, and Lachy offered to trade a pair of sunnies of my choice.

Three Meat Magazines + a Sausage Making Book – Books for Cooks

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About five years ago I bought Michael Ruhlman’s book Charcuterie from a shop in Fitzroy called Books for Cooks. If you live in Melbourne and like cooking, you probably know this place….their range of cookbooks is exceptional and they really know what they’re talking about.

I’ve followed Ruhlman’s recipes for all sorts of things, terrine, sausages, beef jerky…it was also from Charcuterie that I realised making bacon at home wasn’t actually that difficult. In fact you could probably say that if I hadn’t bought this book five years ago, I would probably have never started TIFB.

A Trailer Full of Firewood – Pank


Pank is a mate of mine who’s name is actually Tom, but who everyone calls Pank. I’ll point out now that this is because it’s his middle name, and not because of any connection to the definition you get when you enter ‘Pank’ into Urban Dictionary (google it). Anyway…

Pank and his family own a small farm south of Adelaide where they grow good grass, and raise a few steers. They also have an enormous quantity of redgum to feed the numerous fire places back at their eastern suburbs manor.

A Pair of Custom Painted Shoes – Rebecca


Rebecca got in touch with me a few weeks back and offered to trade a pair of custom painted canvas shoes for a kilo of my bacon. This was a pretty intriguing offer, I like shoes, and I like paintings…sounded like good deal. Turns out she has a little web based opperation called Walking Canvas, through which she paints and sells custom canvas shoes, with all sorts of different designs, logos and characters. Check out the link to her Facebook page.

3kg of Cheese – Udder Delights


If there’s one food I love as much as smallgoods, it’s Cheese! Some years ago I did a cheese making class with Sheree from Udder Delights, and every now and then when my work and bacon commitments allow it, I whip up a batch of fetta or camembert. It’s not bad, but it’s not brilliant…think i’ll stick to making bacon.

A Tank of Petrol – Mandy & Steve


After my little project got a write up in the paper a few weeks back, I was inundated with a huge number of trade offers in a very short time. Unfortunately as it all came about so quickly, I didn’t have enough bacon stockpiled to be able to accept all the trades I wanted to, at least not straight away.

Two O2 Wear Garments – Dave & Anna

Advertiser photo

Dave and I went to school and uni together, but haven’t seen each other for about six years due to him living and working in China!

Dave and his wife Anna run a small clothing company called O2 Wear, specialising in bamboo fibre and organic cotton clothing. Their company is Australian owned and designed, and they sell women’s basics like crew necks and leggings…all really good stuff. Dave got in touch with me and offered to trade two garments of my choice for a kilo of my bacon, which I thought was a very generous offer….trade accepted! Now before you all start thinking I get around in women’s clothing, the two garments were actually for my girlfriend, who for the sake of anonymity we’ll just call ‘The Butcheress’. She chose a crew neck tee and a camisole, both bamboo fibre, and both excellent quality.

1973 Penfolds Grange Hermitage – Grant


About a week ago I made a Twitter account (@Tradeitforbacon) and started tweeting about my bacon! I gotta admit, I was pretty surprised how quickly and how well people responded to my little operation, it seems that (for the most part) everyone loves bacon.

On Wednesday night, I got a tweet from a fella named @gmango_au, who offered to trade me a bottle of 1973 Penfolds Grange Hermitage for a kilo of my free range bacon. At first I thought it was a stitch up, but sure enough, the offer was legit….he even offered to de-risk the deal with a bottle of 2001 Bin 707 in the event the Grange was past it’s prime. This was another no-brainier, trade accepted.

Meat Themed Cushion + an Hour of Compliments – Tom & Laura


Tom and I worked together for about five years, until he moved to Melbourne to pursue a career as a ‘man of leisure’. I caught up with him and his wife Laura a few weeks back, just after I’d published my first two TIFB trades. They’d read my blog, seemed to like the concept, and were keen to try my bacon.

After proposing a number of different trade offers, including 10 minutes of continuous eye contact, which I politely declined, we finally settled on a meat themed cushion, and an hour of compliments.